When you intend to hurt someone, even if you don't actually do it, it makes you unhappy.
When you don’t intend to hurt someone, but somehow you do, it makes you and them unhappy.
When you intend to hurt someone and you do hurt them, it makes you and them unhappy.
When you don’t intend to hurt anyone, and don’t take any hurtful actions, you have peace, for you and for everyone else.
If you don’t actually hurt anyone, you are not in the wrong as far as the rest of the world is concerned.
(The real conclusion here is that it is hard work being happy. It is not easy. Being unhappy is very easy. But more on that later)
(Couple of interesting question, is it wrong to want to hurt someone, in every case? And does it actually take an emotional toll on you when you actively think about hurting someone?)
What if your intention is to make people want to like you, but in reality, you withdraw from them? The (unconscious) reasoning behind that is probably something like, if I am not around, they will realize my absence and my depression and (even if out of sympathy) give me more attention. What it actually does is make people uncomfortable when they are around you, and it distances them from you. The intentions are good, but the action is not. It’s not illegal, but it’s not good either, for everyone involved.
What if you have thoughts about murdering your family, but hold back long enough and allow them to die naturally (by not looking after them), is that any better than just murdering them? I guess it is. Many people probably already do that.
It appears to me, as far as the end result is concerned, when the whole picture is taken into account, for everyone, not just you, what you actually do is the only thing that matters.
But I don’t want to accept this answer.
If actions matter more than intentions, then there can be no accountability for legal but immoral/bad actions.
If intentions matter more than actions, then every action should be justifiable. You know, nobody is evil from their own perspective.
There is more to explore here.